An Excerpt from Cat Bennet, Queen of Nothing
I don’t know what Jane Austen was smoking when she wrote Pride and Prejudice, but I wish my mom had never read The Book, as my sister Liz calls it. On bad days, I even wish Dad had never met Mom. And I really wish Mom had discovered bipolar meds before she married a guy named Bennet, had five daughters, and named them Jane, Elizabeth, Mary, Catherine, and Lydia.
Because I’m Cat Bennet. And my life reeks.
I’ve never even read The Book, which is, like, two hundred years old and therefore totally lame, even if it weren’t about a family named Bennet with five daughters who have the same names as my sisters and me. My mom has read it a million times. She claims she got over it when she went to law school, but she still keeps a beat-up copy next to the toilet in the upstairs bathroom. My three older sisters all moan and groan about The Book, even though they all have perfect lives. Even Mary! The biggest loser I know suddenly has a new wardrobe and a boyfriend and a scholarship to some major geek college.
Not that I’m jealous of Mary. She’s annoying, sure, but I really just miss Lydia, who’s now stuck in reform school in Montana, thanks to the world’s worst dad. Ours.
Lydia isn’t just my twin; she’s my BFF. She has this way of catching the spotlight wherever she goes, and she always shared the spotlight with me. But then she snagged a job in Wisconsin Dells last summer with a circus troupe and didn’t even try to rope me an invitation. When Lydia left, the spotlight vanished, too.
So why is everyone suddenly staring at me?
I admit I missed whatever Ms. Mickel was droning about, but let’s face it: English 11 is pretty pointless if you couldn’t care less about writers who lived a bazillion years ago.
“Cat?” As I looked up from my doodling, which I frantically tried to cover with my English textbook, Ms. Mickel rat-a-tat-tatted up to me in her four-inch red heels. “Don’t you, of all people, have an opinion?”
I have a lot of opinions, but none I wanted to share with Ms. Mickel or the sea of faces watching me.
“Uh . . .”
Ms. Mickel rolled her eyes. “With your last name, and the first names of you and your sisters?”
Oh. Crap. I had a bad feeling, and it got worse when I saw the stack of paperbacks on Ms. Mickel’s desk, and way worse when the guy next to me snickered. But how would Jeremy Fisk know that Jane Austen had a sick fetish for a family named Bennet and my mom fell for it?